The Haven News Update, Remembering Joann Peterson




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JOANN PETERSON

This special message is to pass on the sad news that Joann Peterson passed away on Tuesday January 9, 2007. As many of you will know, Joann had been recovering from major surgery for the last few months. She was making steady progress, and was well enough to return in November to teach the Anger, Boundaries and Safety course at The Haven - we were all so delighted to see her here again. Sadly she became ill a few days ago - she was given the option to go into hospital, but chose to stay at home. She passed away peacefully and quickly with her husband Pete and her good friend Judy Lemon by her side. In the days before she died, she had spent time with Ernie and Cathy McNally and had said how much she had valued the time she had spent since her operation with Pete and the rest of her family.

It is impossible to sum up what Joann has meant to The Haven. She has been an inspirational Director of Education, course leader and colleague for many years and she will never be forgotten. Her legacy will live on in her teachings and in those she mentored. She was an incredible spirit.

Joann's family has respectfully asked not to be called at this time. If you wish to send a message or a card by mail, and do not have Joann's address, please send it to The Haven (address below) and we will send it on:

The Haven
240 Davis Road
Gabriola Island
BC, V0R 1X1
Canada

There will be a number of ways in which Joann's memory will be honoured at The Haven and we will give you the details of these as we have them. We are also hoping to establish a bursary fund in her memory, and there will be more information on this in the next regular Haven-News Update, which will be out by the end of next week.

We have already received many emails and phone calls to The Haven from people wishing to express their feelings about the news of Joann's passing. We have created an online space (a 'blog') where you can record your memories and thoughts at this time - we will create a book of condolences from this blog, which we will share with Joann's family and also keep at The Haven. You can find the blog at the following web site address:
http://joannpetersonmemorial.blogspot.com/

Posting to this blog is now closed (as of Sept 16 2007) because the postingaddress was finally discovered by spammers. We will keep the blog open to view though at the above address

I have also invited some of the people who worked closely with Joann over the years to share their thoughts with you as part of this message. Thank you to those who contributed during this sad time. May each person have for even a brief time, a friend and mentor

Warm wishes

Rachel Davey
Programs Director
programs(at)haven.ca
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From Bennet Wong and Jock McKeen
REMEMBERING JOANN

Joann Peterson was one of the key people in the development of Haven. She risked her security in leaving her private practice to come to Haven to be the first Director of Education, dedicating herself to the development of a training program that has value and integrity. She is a cornerstone of what the Haven is today.

She worked tirelessly to further our mutual vision of a Haven world where people would be open, honest, loving, revealing and growing. Through all the challenges of Haven's growth, she contributed deeply to the creation and shepherding of the organization.

She was diligent in regard to her own growth process, and always ready to connect and assist others who sought her guidance and counsel. Many people benefitted from her practical wisdom and deep caring. She was dedicated to her students and her teaching. She loved her life at Haven, and Haven loved the life she shared so generously.

Over the past years as she has endured so many medical tests and procedures, we have felt distress for the pain and burden she carried with her physical health. Yet her indomitable spirit always remained bright, and she seldom complained. This past week, surrounded by her loving husband and close friends, she knew for certain that she is loved. She died as she had lived, responsibly and gracefully. Now, finally, she can rest.

We will miss her disciplined, dedicated teaching, and her feisty funloving spirit.

We will keep her in our hearts.

Bon voyage, Joann!
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From Jan Frison
May each person have for even a brief time, a friend and mentor, such as Joann was to me.
She held forth to me, her wisdom, strength, acceptance, compassion and unconditional loving, when I most doubted my own.
For my knowing of her over almost two decades, I feel profoundly more enriched as a human being.
You have gone for now, my friend.
My loving of you will remain alive in my heart.
May you rest in peace.
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From Bob Owen and Ruth Emerson
We first met Joann when she was still doing what she called 'terminal niceness.' Over the years she became so much more of herself--never losing her kindness, generosity, and nurturing, but willing to challenge us when we needed it (or laugh at us) and to cut to the core of any situation. She taught us by sharing herself and her own stories; she also helped us through some sticky places in our relationship. The reality of never seeing her again has not quite sunk in.
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From Judy Lemon
What to say about the 33+ years I have known and been with Joann. We shared family and friends, personal and professional growing, times of silliness and joy, times of struggle and pain. I was privileged to be with Pete, holding her hand, when she passed. She came into my heart and taught me to see the possibilities and realities of life. And even more, she let me into hers. That exchange - heart to heart -was her gift shared with each of us who knew her.
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From Cathy and Ernie McNally
Our friend Joann was, and is, a rare gift who lived what she believed with all the tender, heart-filled determination she could muster. For us, the elegant, open, human grace she offered to so many, in so many ways, has made our world a better place. Sometime soon more words will come. And right now we are each in our own way filled with a gentle, warm, sad, and loving ache of thankful appreciation for having our life blessed with Joann Peterson. We will forever get to close our eyes, see her inviting smile, hear her wisdomed soul, and feel her welcoming hand. Thank you Joann.

A poem for Joann from Ernie:

The Spirit of Loving

And now we are in different places
How shall we find each other?
How shall we nurture our souls?
Where will we turn for the warmth of our sheltering touch?
Who will catch our tears, caress our cheek, run fingers through our hair?
When will we echo our laugh,
and rise to the sparkle in our eyes?

Fear not, dear heart, and rest.
We are where we have always been.
Inside.
Safe and close.
No farther than the moment of a memory.

For we are not mere mortals.
We bask in the eternal spirit of loving.
We have lived, and loved, and shared spirit, and our spirit lives -
In the same place.
Here we will always find each other,
and nurture our souls in the warmth
of our sheltering touch.
And in the moments of tears, and caress,
and fingers through our hair,
We will hear the echo of our laugh,
and rise to the sparkle in our eyes.

For we are where we have always been.
Fear not, dear heart,
We are together,
Inside.
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From Linda Nicholls
Recognition of Joann Peterson:

I am loving you, Joann Peterson, and recognizing the boundless spirit that you are.

Throughout the twenty-plus years of our deeply interwoven bond, we played and worked, agreed and disagreed, aligned and competed, laughed and cried,

Together we experienced glorious moments and tragic moments. We shared comforts and discomforts, appreciations and resentments, serenity and irritation, dreams and disappointments. At times we embraced each other and at times we bounced off of each other. We talked about everything - the light and the dark.

We shared many hours of respite in either your Gabriola space or mine snacking and yakking. We co-created offerings of lasting value: amongst them Disengaging Depression, Effective Boundaries, Mirroring, Separation and Loss and an assortment of workshops in Asia. We spent rare and precious holidays exploring Taiwan and Hong Kong, Vietnam, Thailand, Spain, London and Italy. We rocked and rolled on exotic waters on the Sass's yacht - you were the one who kept your balance when the seas became rough.

With profound gratitude I thank you for your life. You have been an inspirational teacher, mentor, confidante, and girlfriend as you masterfully dedicated your being here to living and sharing, radiating infinite resilience.

In loving ... Linda
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From Gregory Gurel
In Loving Memory of Joann Peterson - Living Life with Aggress

(Aggress Energy - A passionate life force energy that a person uses to step forward in a bold and energetic manner in her own behalf. From the "Anger, Boundaries, and Safety Handbook")

I have been deeply moved by her words, awestruck by her presence, amazed by her endless loving.

I have watched her embrace relationships with her very soul, turn away no one, be loving to all.

I have worked passionately with my mentor, my wise woman, my visionary.

I have had the gift of supporting her, being there for her, being her friend.

And now,

I will continue to live my life with her bubbling up from deep inside.
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From Peggie Merlin
Joann Peterson

I remember reading something Anne Morrow Lindbergh said about death: that it is only when a tall tree has finally fallen that one can fully appreciate its length. There is so much to appreciate about Joann, my friend and colleague for more than 25 years: deep skill, remarkable courage, determination, dedication, consummate professionalism and charming girlishness.

Despite the pain she lived with for years and the health deficits with which increasingly she struggled, it was her great delight to "commute" amazing distances, work extraordinary hours, travel to exotic climes, defy the big odds with her resilient spirit, and touch in positive ways so many lives, including mine.

For me, she is - in her personhood as well as her work - the embodiment of the Haven curriculum. And she taught with a particular and powerful blend of guidance and comfort that I could use a big helping of right now.
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From Wendy Huntington
Having touched base with many of Joann's friends and colleagues during the last 24 hours, I realize the many, many ways in which she will be missed and how far around the globe her circle of influence spreads. In her special ways over the years, I came to know aspects of her that made up the unique individual she truly was. For me, she had a way of moving through the world that was unstoppable, wise, bold, compassionate, honest...and often very funny. Joann was one who had her head on her shoulders through any situation; and who could then sit back and find both the humanity and the humor in it. That combination is what people remember, again and again as they have talked to me about her.....and those are the enduring "Joann" qualities I will hold in my heart.
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From Rick Jackson on behalf of the Haven Foundation Board
The Haven Foundation Board is saddened at the news of Joann Peterson's passing and we extend our deepest condolences to her family. We know Joann loved her family with all her heart and in this moment of grief we are profoundly mindful that it is they she returned to from her countless hours of devotion to others in her private practice and in the Haven's session rooms.

While we share the sense of loss with her family, we also know that this transition is only one of the many Joann has made in a life full of life. Each step Joann has taken on her earthly path has deeply touched all of us who have been near her; whether it has been over many years or for just a few precious minutes. That one who was nearly lost as a child herself lived on to tenderly hold so many others in their moments of vulnerability is a testament to her loving.

Joann has been a wonderful teacher and mentor to many of us at the Haven. Indeed it is hard to imagine the Haven without Joann's teaching and loving presence. So, we will do something else with our imaginations. Instead, we will imagine ways to ensure her work continues. We think this is what Joann would want - a commitment to offer a space for the continuation of her work with those who would learn how to "be" with others in their pain and their joy.
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